Have you ever been mad at your brother or sister?
Has your brother or sister ever taken something that belonged to you?
Have you ever taken something that belonged to your brother or sister?
Have you ever made your brother or sister mad?
Have you ever made your brother or sister so mad that they said they were going to kill you and you had to flee?
Did you ever get so mad at your brother or sister that you vowed to kill him/her and he/she had to flee for fear of his/her life?
Well this week's Torah portion is all about siblings. It's all about family. The main part of our Torah portion focuses on two brothers (twins in fact), Jacob and Esau. Esau was the twin who was born first, right before Jacob. Esau was big, strong, hairy, bulky, muscley, and masculine. He had dark skin. He was a hunter and not an intellectual, thinking kind of guy. His twin Jacob, born just moments after him, was a very different kind of person. Gentle, soft-spoken, intellectual, a thinker. He liked to cook and stay at home. So they were very different people and that sometimes made it hard to get along.
Something that made it even harder to get along is that their parents played favorites. Their mom, Rebekah, loved Isaac the most. And their dad, Isaac, loved Esau the most.
One time, Esau had been out hunting. And back in those days, when you went out to hunt you often stayed out for days and weeks surviving on very little food--just what you could to get by. So Esau returns from a long hunt exhausted and starving. More hungry than you have ever felt in your life. Famished. He felt like if he didn't eat something immediately he would faint, or even worse, die. So Esau comes home and finds his brother cooking, as usual. And the smell of the stew was just delicious. So Esau looks at it and says--"Give me some of that red stuff." But Jacob realized that he was in a position of power and decided that he wasn't going to give away something for nothing. Jacob says "Okay, but you have to give me your birthright."
The birthright was what said that the older brother gets to inherit all of his parents belongings and be in charge of the household when their parents die.
So Esau says "Fine! I need to eat!" and digs into the delicious stew.
And just like that, Jacob had the birthright.
Fast forward a bit, and unfortunately their father Isaac is not well. He is old, and sick, and is going to die soon. He is blind. He calls Esau into his room and asks him to go on a hunt and to get him the best most delicious animal he can find. Then he asks him to bring that animal home and prepare a delicious meal. Once Esau has done this, Isaac will bless him as all fathers (in that time) bless their sons on their deathbeds. Esau runs to do his father's task.
But Jacob and Rebekah overhear and decide to trick Isaac into giving Jacob the blessing. Jacob puts on furs so he is hairy like his brother Esau. He prepares a delicious meal just like Esau would have. He came into his father's room and, discuising his voice, said "Here's your food, dad." Isaac is surprised--"How did you do that so quickly??!" Jacob responds--pretending to be Esau, "God helped me complete the task quickly." Isaac is suspicious but ends up believing him, eating the delicious food and giving Jacob a wonderful blessing.
Finally Esau returns from the hunt and hears what his brother, Jacob, has done. He has never been so mad in his life. Or so sad. He cries hot tears and screams in anger and sadness. "Didn't you save any blessing for me, Daddy?" he asks Isaac. Isaac sadly says that he gave the blessing to his older brother. Esau is devastated and enraged. Was it not enough to take the birthright from him, now he took the blessing too? He is so mad that he vows to kill his brother.
Hearing this, Jacob flees away to his Uncle's house. And this is where our Torah portion leaves us.
We all know that sometimes it can be hard to get along with our siblings and our parents and to keep the peace at home. The Jewish value, Shalom Bayit, means "Peace in the home." This is an important Jewish value that we need to keep in mind each day.
Here are this week's questions for the dinner table:
(1) Who is right in this story, Jacob or Esau?
(2) How must Jacob have felt that led him to trick his brother Esau?
(3) How must Esau have felt to first lose the birthright and then the blessing?
(4) Was it fair for their parents to play favorites?
(5) Think about one time when someone has taken something that belonged to you. How did you feel? What did you do?
(6) Think about a time when you took something that belonged to someone else. How do you think they felt? What happened? How did you feel?
(7) What can you do this week to create peace in the home, Shalom Bayit? Try to think of 5 ways to create Shalom Bayit as a family this week.
Shabbat Shalom!
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