Table Talk for Shabbat Chayei Sarah

This is taken from the URJ's Shabbat Table talk from 5759 and it includes one of my very favorite midrashim.  click the link to enjoy!

http://urj.org//holidays/shabbat/intro/genesis//?syspage=article&item_id=4394

Table Talk for Shabbat Vayeira

The following is excerpted from the URJ's Table Talk from 5759 (1998).

Vayeira, 5759

Parashat Vayeira : Genesis 18:1–22:24The Torah: A Modern Commentary
W. Gunther Plaut, ed. pp. 122-148
CYCLE ONE

SUMMARY 
Adonai appears, in Hebrew "vayera," to Abraham. Abraham is sitting at the entrance to his tent when three men approach . He greets them and offers them a place to rest and food to eat. They accept his hospitality. Abraham asks Sarah to prepare cakes and then he chooses a calf for a servant to prepare.


One of the men then informs Abraham that Sarah will give birth to a son. Sarah overhears this and laughs to herself because she is well past child-bearing age and Abraham is quite old as well. Adonai asks Abraham why Sarah laughed at the idea that she would soon be a mother. Sarah tells Abraham that she did not laugh. She denies her original response because she is frightened that God will view it as a lack of faith. But God assures Abraham that Sarah did indeed laugh.


The three men then set off for Sodom. We hear God questioning whether or not Abraham should be informed about the impending destruction of Sodom and Gommorah. Because God has chosen Abraham to be a great nation, to be a source of blessing to the other nations of the world, and to be a role model of justice and righteousness, God decides to tell him. Abraham then begins bargaining with God in hopes of saving the inhabitants of those cities. When it is clear that no one in the city is innocent, God's decree remains in effect.
Two angels arrive in Sodom and are greeted at the city gate by Lot who urges them to accept his hospitality. They do so, but the townspeople of Sodom do not approve of the presence of strangers and demand that Lot turn them out of his home. The Sodomites resent Lot and try to harm him, but his guests protect him. The guests then inform Lot that he and any of his family in the city must leave because they have been sent to destroy it. Lot tells his sons-in-law about the impending destruction but they choose not to believe him.


With the destruction imminent the angels insist that Lot and his family hurry but they delay. Finally, the angels grab Lot, two of his daughters and his wife, and bring them out of the city. They are warned not to look behind them as they leave. Unfortunately Lot's wife does not obey. She looks back and is immediately turned into a pillar of salt.


As was promised, Sarah becomes pregnant. Abraham and Sarah have a son whom they name Isaac and on the eighth day of his life he is circumcised.


Isaac grows up and is weaned and Abraham holds a great feast in his honor. Sarah wants Hagar and Ishmael thrown out of their home so that Ishmael will not have any part of Isaac's inheritance. Abraham is very unhappy about this, but God tells him to listen to Sarah. Hagar and Ishmael are cast out into the wilderness. Ishmael nearly dies but his cry is heard and an angel of Adonai reassures Hagar that Ishmael will live to become a great nation


God decides to test Abraham and commands him to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Abraham prepares to do this and as his hand is raised to carry out the sacrifice an angel of Adonai calls out for him to stop. Because of Abraham's willingness to obey God's command, the promise of a great nation described as numerous as the stars in heaven and the sands of the seashore is repeated.


COMMENTARY 
The parashah opens with the verse, "And God appeared to Abraham (Genesis 18:1)." Nothing else is said in the Torah text about this appearance. The Talmud explains that it was on the third day after Abraham's circumcision and the Holy One of Blessing (God) appeared to ask about Abraham's health. The Talmud continues by teaching that this interpretation gave us the basis for the mitzvah of bikur cholim, visiting the sick. The Rabbis also taught that a visit to the sick takes away 1/60th of the illness. Yet simply visiting the sick person is not enough. The individual who is ill must be helped in some way and have his/her material needs satisfied by the visit.


A second mitzvah, haknasat orchim, welcoming the stranger, also has its basis in this parashah. Tradition teaches that Abraham kept an open doorway on each side of his tent so that any passing stranger would know that he or she was welcome to enter. Welcoming the stranger was not just a sign of good manners, but an absolute necessity because of the harsh desert climate and the nomadic life (Encyclopedia Judaica).
Rashi, a 10th century Biblical commentator, identifies the servant who helps Abraham prepare the food for the three visitors as Ishmael. Rashi explains that Abraham involved his son in the doing of this mitzvah in order to teach it to him.


God tells Abraham that Sarah laughed at the thought that she would bear a child at her advanced age. Abraham questions Sarah about this, but she denies that she had laughed. Notice that God changed Sarah's words. God tells Abraham that she laughed due to her age and not because Abraham is old (which is what she said in her original statement). This was to prevent Abraham from getting angry with Sarah. The women's Yiddish commentary to the Torah, Tzenah Ur'enah, teaches that it is from this story that the Sages learned that for the sake of sh'lom Bayit, a peaceful home/family harmony, a harmless lie is allowed.


TABLE TALK

1. Why was offering hospitality so important during Abraham's time? Consider where Abraham lived (the desert), and how that might have influenced how he behaved. With your family, list different ways in which you can welcome a newcomer.
2. Based on the COMMENTARY, how did Abraham teach the mitzvah of haknasat orchim to Ishmael? What mitzvah did Lot perform that enraged the people of Sodom? Who might he have learned the mitzvah from? In what ways was Abraham fulfilling the special roles which God had assigned to him and his descendants? Describe a mitzvah that you have learned from another family member. Identify this person and explain how they taught you this mitzvah.
3. While we are taught that lying is wrong, in the COMMENTARY section it seems that a "white lie" is allowed if it will preserve sh'lom bayit, family harmony. What do you think about this? Are there circumstances when a lie is acceptable? To your knowledge has this ever occurred in your family? What happened? In what ways are you responsible for sh'lom bayit in your family?
4. Abraham faced two situations in relation to his sons in this parasha. Describe them. In what ways did they test Abraham? Parents often face tests when it comes to their children, though usually not as severely as Abraham. What kinds of tests have you faced as a parent, as a child? How did these tests effect your relationships with your spouses, with your children and/or with your parents?

DID YOU KNOW...Rabbi Huna, who lived during the Rabbinic period announced that mealtimes at his home were to be considered an open invitation to strangers. Rabbi Huna had a saying, "Kol dichfin yaytay v'yachul", "Let all who are hungry, come and eat." This expression has become part of our Passover Haggadah.


Ideas for Participating in the Mitzvah of Haknasat Orchim
If new members are listed in your temple bulletin, make it a point to seek them out and welcome them to your community. You just may be making a new friend for yourself, your family and your community. Share a holiday meal or celebration with a new member or family. You don't have to limit it to someone who has just joined your community, include people you would like to get to know.

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This week's Family Shabbat Table Talk was written by Barbara Binder Kadden, who loves to fulfill the mitzvah of haknasat orchim - welcoming the stranger, but unlike Rabbi Huna is not quite ready to offer an open invitation at every mealtime!

Table Talk for Shabbat Lech L'cha

In looking for inspiration from this week's blog post, I ran across one of the "Family Shabbat Table Talk" entries written 8 years ago, in 5763, that I really enjoyed.  Rather than quoting a great deal from this article, I have simply included it below.

My thanks to the URJ for continuing to provide this resource and kol hakavod to Marlene Myerson for writing such a nice entry.

I also encourage you to listen to a beautiful song written by Debbie Friedman, inspired by this week's parashah and the command to go forth, lech l'cha, and be a blessing.

http://ilike.myspacecdn.com/play#Debbie+Friedman:L%27chi+Lach:1013987:s44824132.11592694.18428036.0.2.138%2Cstd_6eca9a11deec476b9793d41aac1f83fa


Shabbat Shalom!

Lech L'cha, 5763

Parashat Lech L'cha
The Torah: A Modern Commentary
W. Gunther Plaut, ed.
CYCLE FIVE

THE TEXT"God said to Abram, "Go forth from your native land and from your father's house to the land that I will show you. I will make of you a great nation. And I will bless you; I will make your name great. And you shall be a blessing" (Genesis 12:1-2)

THE CONTEXTRashi, the Commentator of commentators, was a master of putting Torah in context. We will honor his teaching as we try to do the same.

The story of Abraham, the father of the Jewish people, begins with this week's parashah. Our tradition teaches that Abram lived in a society that worshipped many gods and that Abram's belief in one God alone made him unique. God speaks directly to Abram, later known as Abraham, and instructs him to leave his native land of Haran, and leave his father's house to go to an unknown place, a land that God will show him. If Abram obeys God's commandment, God promises to make him the father of a great nation, to bless him, and to make his name well known.

THE THEMEAbram had to leave his homeland and his family behind In order to develop his relationship with God. He and his wife Sarai, later known as Sarah, embarked on a journey that would take them from all that was known and comfortable to a new and unfamiliar place. Abram showed great courage in his willingness to listen to God's voice and venture into the unknown.


We are fortunate to live in a country in which we are free to practice our Judaism and develop our relationship with God without fear. Nevertheless, we take many journeys in our lives. There are times when our journeys are physical. Like Abram, we actually travel from one place to another. At other times, our journeys are emotional or spiritual. As we encounter life's challenges and experiences, we change, we grow, and we find ourselves in different places at different times. Sometimes these journeys are exciting, and sometimes they are frightening. In order to achieve we must be willing to hear God's voice and explore new and unfamiliar things. Knowing that we are not alone in our journey helps to alleviate our anxiety.



Our High Holy Day Prayer Book reminds us that life itself is a journey:
"Birth is a beginning
And death a destination.
And life is a journey:From childhood to maturityAnd youth to age;From innocence to awarenessAnd ignorance to knowing…Until, looking backward or ahead,We see that victory liesNot at some high place along the way,But in having made the journey, stage by stage,A sacred pilgrimage. "       (Sha'arei T'shuvah, p.283)

A SAGE SPEAKSThe Chasidic rabbis tell the story of a man who was on a journey that took him through a forest. There he lost his way. After several days of wandering, he encountered another. To this one he appealed, "Can you show me the way out of this forest? The other replied: "I too have lost my way. Each path I have taken has been wrong. But at least I know what paths not to take. Let us search for the way out together. (Chaim Stern, Day by Day, p. 17)





THE TORAH AND YOU
Questions and/or activities for families:

1. With older children (10+)
   1. Why do you think God insisted that Abram leave his homeland, and his family and travel to a new land? What are some of the qualities that Abram had that enabled him to make his journey? In what ways do you think this journey was both physical and spiritual?
   2. Many of our grandparents or great grandparents had to leave the place of their birth and travel a great distance in order to start a new life in America. Do some research into your family history and find out why your ancestors left their homeland.
   3. Think of something new that you would like to introduce to your family's Shabbat observance. This might be something as simple as singing Shabbat songs after dinner or it could be a decision not to do any work or shopping on Shabbat. What can you learn from this week's Torah portion that might help you start on this new journey?
2. With younger children (6-9)
   1. Imagine how hard it was for Abram to obey God and leave everything behind and go to a new place! What kind of person do you think Abram was? Make a list of all the words that you can think of that describe someone like Abram. How many of those words describe you?
   2. Think about the last time you had to leave home to go somewhere or do something that was unfamiliar - perhaps it was the first day of school or summer camp. Can you remember how you felt that day? What helped you have the courage to face this new experience?
   3. Read the story told by the Chasidic rabbis (A Sage Speaks – above). According to the rabbis, what makes a journey easier? What does this story teach you about trying new things?

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Marlene Myerson, the UAHC Regional Educator in Canada, wrote this week's Family Shabbat Table Talk. Marlene's grandparents left Russia and Poland many years ago because they were not safe places for Jews to live. She is grateful for the many blessings she has as a result of their courage.

Table Talk for Shabbat Noach

This week's Torah portion, which tells the story of how Noah builds a huge ark to make it through the flood that God brings upon the earth, is one of my very favorites.  I think it is both interesting and a bit scary--the idea of a storm so huge that it could flood the entire earth, the idea that God is so disappointed with humans that God wants to just wipe everything clean and start over, and the idea that Noah had to stay in one place, with all those animals, for so long!  So many animals would have needed so much food and would have made such a big mess... How did Noah get through it?  Who cleaned up the big mess that the animals would have made? 

So let's remind ourselves of what happens in the story of Noah and the ark.

God, looking down on the people on earth and seeing their behavior, becomes upset and decides that humans are just evil to their core and he should just wipe the slate clean and start over.  But God sees that Noah is far more righteous, a way better and nicer person, than the rest of the people on earth and so God decides to let Noah live and become the father of the rest of human history that will start when the flood is over.  God tells Noah that a huge storm is coming and he must build an ark (which is basically a huge boat) and tells Noah exactly how to do it.  Noah is then supposed to get two of each animal (and different numbers of a few specific animals), making sure to bring a male and a female of each animal so that each kind of animal will also be able to have babies and survive the flood.  Noah is also supposed to bring his wife, his sons, and their wives with him on the ark to survive the flood.

Then the rain comes.  And keeps coming. And coming.  For 40 days and 40 nights, which is the Torah's way of saying A REALLY LONG TIME.  Finally the rain stops, and Noah and his family and the animals wait for the land to slowly dry.  Eventually Noah sends out a raven (a black bird) to see if it can find a place to sit, which would mean that the land was becoming dry.  But the raven comes back.  Noah waits and then later sends out a dove (a white bird), which returns to him with an olive branch in its mouth.  The ark comes to a rest on the top of Mt. Ararat, and Noah and his family and the animals finally leave the ark and start building their lives again.

This week's questions that I encourage you to discuss as a family are:

(1) If you had to spend 40 days and 40 nights on an ark with any person or group of people, who would you want with you?

(2) Who do you think cleaned up all that mess on the ark?  Noah?  Mrs. Noah?  His sons and daughters-in-law?

(3) Have you ever been so frustrated with something you made, or a project you were working on, that you just wanted to throw it out and start all over?

(4) Have you ever had to start something all over, whether it was your choice or not?  What happened?  How did you feel?

(5)  How do you think Noah and his family felt when they started to build the ark?  How do you think they felt during the storm?  How do you think that they felt when they were waiting for the waters to dry?  How do you think they felt when they left the ark and had to build their lives all over again?

Shabbat Table Talk for Chol Ha-Moeid Sukkot

We are so blessed in this season because it is just so full of holidays!  Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur have passed and we are now in the midst of one of my favorite holidays: Sukkot! 


Sukkot, much like the American holiday of Thanksgiving, is a harvest holiday when we thank God for providing food for our tables and a roof over our heads. 


Now, probably very few of us have our own sukkot ("sukkot" is the plural of "sukkah") at our homes.  But we have one here at Temple that everyone can make use of, and in Israel, if you walked around Jerusalem now you would see SO many sukkot!  Even restaurants have their own sukkot so people can eat out at a restaurant, but still observe the mitzvah of eating inside the sukkah.


There are a number of wonderful mitzvahs that we do on Sukkot:


(1) Shaking the lulav and the etrog
(2) Spending time in the sukkah (sleeping in the sukkah even!)
(3) Eating in the Sukkah
(4) Inviting guests into the sukkah.


I would like to fovus on that last mitzvah:  Inviting guests into the sukkah.  This is one of my very favorite traditions of Sukkot.  This is called "Ushpizin," or "Hachnasat Orchim," welcoming guests.  It is traditional to invite people into the sukkah to share a meal and a great conversation. 


So my question to all of you this week, that I hope you can take some time with your family to talk about (around your Shabbat dinner table, or in your Sukkah, or just sitting on the couch on Shabbat afternoon):


If you could invite anyone, from any time period (past, present, or future), into your Sukkah to share a meal and have a conversation, who would you invite?  What would you want to talk about?  Why?


Or, if you have lots of ideas, there are 7 days of Sukkot.  Who are your top 7 people you'd like to invite into your Sukkah?






Shabbat Shalom & Chag Sameach!

Table Talk for Haazinu, Shabbat Shuvah, September 10-11, 2010

Shabbat Shalom and Shana Tova!  I hope that everyone had an uplifting, inspiring Rosh Hashanah and I wish everyone a happy, healthy year. 

As our fall holidays progress, we are nearing the end of the book of Deuteronomy, and this week we have our second-to-last Torah portion in the entire Torah:  Haazinu.  Haazinu contains Moses's very last speech to the Israelites before they enter the Promised Land and Moses dies, and this speech is in the form of a poem or a song.  (The words for poem and song are the same in Hebrew:  Shira.)  This poem talks about the same central theme that we find over and over again throughout the entire book of Deuteronomy:  Good deeds and mitzvot will lead to blessing and life, evil deeds and disobeying God will lead to curse and death.   This poem also says that in the future, when the Israleites doubt God or veer off of the path of leading a good life, they could look back at this poem and be reminded of God's power, majesty, goodness, and truth. 

There is one verse in this week's Torah portion that seems particularly important to me this week. Chapter 32 verse 7 reads:

Remember the days of old, consider the years of ages past.
Ask your parent, who will inform you, Your elders, who will tell you.


This verse teaches us the importance of listening to our parents and grandparents and all those who are older than us, because they have more wisdom than we do and there is a lot we can learn from them.  They have been alive much longer than we have so we should ask them to teach us.

In the spirit of this verse, this week's Table Talk questions are for children to ask their parents.  Kids, please ask your parents these and any other questions that come to mind.  After asking them these questions and having your discussion, let your parents (and/or grandparents) know how much you love them and appreciate them, and say "thank you" to them for teaching you.


Discussion Questions:
(1)  What does being Jewish mean to you?  What did it mean to you when you were a kid?  When you were a teenager? 
(2)  Do you have memories of Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur from when you were growing up?  What were they like?  What were services like?  Did your family have any special traditions?
(3) What is your favorite part of the High Holy Days?  What is your favorite prayer (or line from a prayer)?
(4) What kind of blessings do you hope for in the year to come?   What are you thankful for?
(5)  Was there anything that happened in the last year that you want to let go of in the year to come?
(6)  What is your New Year's resolution?  Why?

Table Talk for Shabbat Nitzavim-Vayeilech, September 3rd-4th, 2010

This week we are blessed with a double Torah portion, Nitzavim-Vayeilech.  These portions often appear as a pair on the Shabbat that falls right before Rosh Hashana, as it does this year.  Why do we have double portions sometimes?  In the Jewish calendar, different years have different numbers of weeks, and different numbers of Shabbatot, so there is a kind of flexibility built into the schedule of Torah readings to make sure that we always get through the entire Torah ever year.  In a year with fewer weeks, we have double portions like this one, but in a year with more weeks, Nitzavim and Vayeilech could each have their own week.


Yet another fun fact that has to do with this week's Torah portion is that when it stands alone, Vayeilech is the very shortest Torah portion that there is!


As we have mentioned in the past few weeks here on our Shabbat Sha-blog, we are in the book of Deuteronomy which is the last book in the Torah.  And the book of Deuteronomy is mainly made up of a string of very long speeches given by Moses to the people of Israel right before Moses dies and the Israelites enter the land of Israel, the Promised land.  This week's Torah portion is no different.


The very first words of this week's Torah portion are, "Atem Nitzavim Hayom Kulchem..." "You stand this day, all of you."  The wording of the Hebrew, which we can see in translation in the phrase "all of you," lets us know that Moses is not just addressing a few leaders of the people of Israel, but rather he is speaking to the entire people of Israel as one big group.


But interestingly, the verse continues to say, "and those who are not with us here this day."   It seems like the words of God, being spoken by Moses, are intended not only for all the people to whom Moses is talking at that very moment, but also to the descendants of those people.  Meaning, not just them, but their children, and their children's children.  The laws that God gives the people through Moses, the teachings and rules--all of these are not just meant for the ancient Israelites, but they also apply to the generations to follow--including us!


In fact, Midrash Tanchuma takes this a step further to say that not only were the ancient Israelites physically present, not only were they actually there, both at Sinai and then hearing this series of speeches by Moses at the entryway to the Promised Land.  But that we, too, were there.  The children of those people at Sinai and hearing Moses, then their children, and their children... all the way down to us.  You were.  Your brothers and sisters were.  Your parents, your grandparents.  Even people who are not born Jewish but convert to Judaism later in life, they were there because they have Jewish souls just like people who were born Jewish.  And everyone with a Jewish soul was there.


This can remind us that we still have a responsibility to learn the Torah, to live righteous and ethical lives, and to do mitzvot.  Not just because our parents tell us to, and not just because our religious school teachers and cantor and rabbis tell us to.  Because we were there, our souls were there, listening to Moses.  Shaking because of the powerful moment.  With butterflies in our stomachs because we are so eager and nervous and excited to enter the promised land.  Because this is a big responsibility we are being given by God through Moses--to take care of the earth.  To live peacefully and help bring justice and righteousness into the world.  We were there.




Discussion questions:
(1) How do you think the Israelites felt as they were listening to Moses?  How did they feel at Sinai when they were given the Torah?  How did they feel right before going into the Promised Land?


(2)  We just learned that each of us were there at Sinai and there listening to Moses's final speeches.  Close your eyes and imagine yourself there.  What is it like?  Use all of your senses.  What do you hear?  What do you see?  what do you smell?  What do you taste?  Think about reaching out--what do you touch and what do you feel with your hands?


(3)  Do you believe that you were there, or your soul was there?  Why or why not?


(4)  If Moses was speaking to all of us, to all the generations of Israelites and Jews, what does it change?  How would it be different if Moses was only speaking to the ancient Israelites at that moment?


(5)  Is it fair that the speech Moses gave told not just the Israelites what their responsibilities were, but also tells us what ours are, too?  Tradition teaches that when the Israelites accepted the covenant, they accepted it for future generations too, meaning us.  Is that fair?  Did anyone ever agree that you would do something without checking with you?  Is that okay?  How did it feel?  How would it feel?


(6)  Is there anyone who decides things for your or tells you what to do?  Who?  Why?  What do they decide for you?  Is it fair?  How does it make you feel?