Shabbat Table Talk for Shabbat Va-eira, December 31, 2010-January 1st, 2011

This is taken from the URJ's Family Shabbat Table Talk series from 5763, or 2002-2003.  A great conversation-starter!  Shabbat Shalom, everyone.

http://urj.org//holidays/shabbat/intro/exodus//?syspage=article&item_id=4273

Va-eira, 5763

Parashat Va’era, Exodus 6:2-9:35
The Torah: A Modern Commentary
W. Gunther Plaut, ed. pp. 420-448
CYCLE FIVE

THE TEXT
“But Moses appealed to Adonai, saying, ‘The Israelites would not listen to me; how then should Pharaoh heed me, a man of impeded speech!” (Exodus 6:12)

THE CONTEXTRashi, the Commentator of commentators, was a master of putting Torah in context. We will honor his teaching as we try to do the same.
Moses continued his conversations with God by repeatedly questioning his fitness to speak to Pharaoh on behalf of the Israelites. Moses cited his stammering as a reason that the Israelites would not listen to him, and argued that Pharaoh would act similarly. God responded to Moses by reassuring him that together with Aaron he would free the Israelites from the land of Egypt. God would tell Moses what to do and then Aaron would repeat the words to Pharaoh.

THE THEMEEach week we will select one theme from the parashah that is directly relevant to our lives.
Words have power. Moses understood that, for it was with the spoken word that Moses was to lead the Israelites and influence Pharaoh to let the people go. Words can teach us, inspire us and move us to action. Chosen wisely and kindly, words can bring enormous good, but words hastily chosen or chosen with evil intent can be enormously destructive. A SAGE SPEAKSEach week we will learn from a Talmid Chacham - a disciple of the wise.
In Pirkei Avot (5:7), our sages listed seven traits of a learned person regarding the spoken word:

1. Do not begin speaking before one who is greater in wisdom or in years.
2. Do not interrupt the speech of another person.
3. Do not be hasty in answering.
4. Ask relevant questions.
5. Reply appropriately.
6. Discuss first things first and last things last.
7. Acknowledge the truth (admit when you are wrong).

Rambam, (Rabbi Moses ben Maimon or Maimonides, 1135-1204, was a Spanish physician, theologian, jurist and codifier of Jewish law) taught that these seven virtues are fundamental to the improvement of one’s character and social behavior, and to the ability to study, teach, and practice Torah. Rambam advised that one who aspires to be a truly learned person should cultivate these virtues. (The Pirke Avos Treasury, ArtScroll, p.319)

The tone and content one chooses to use when speaking reflect one’s personality and attitude. Moses, described as slow of speech in the Bible, was hesitant to speak to Pharaoh. God provided Moses with a spokesman, his brother Aaron, to help him overcome his hesitancy. Most of us do not have an Aaron to speak for us. Each of us is responsible for his or her own spoken words.
THE TORAH AND YOU
Questions and/or activities for families:

1. With older children (10+)
   1. Describe an instance when you have seen words do enormous good. Contrast that with an instance when you have words that caused enormous damage. How do those instances illustrate the concept that “words are power”?
   2. Read through the list of seven traits regarding speech found in “A Sage Speaks” section of this issue of Family Shabbat Table Talk, choose one and give your own interpretation of what that trait means.
   3. Are there additional traits or guidelines regarding speech that you would add to this list of seven? If so, what are they and why would you add them? If not explain why you think the sages of Pirkei Avot “got it right.”
   4. From what you know of Moses, which of these seven traits would you apply to him?
   5. If you take Rambam’s advice, how would you cultivate these seven virtues within yourself?
      
2. With younger children (6-9)
   1. Describe a time when words have helped you. It might help to remember conversations with family members, teachers or friends.
   2. When have you used words to help other people?
   3. Has there been a time when you have heard words that hurt someone? What was the situation? What do you think might have been done to change hurtful words into helpful or caring words?
   4. If you were going to write some rules for speaking what would they be?
   5. Ben Sira taught, “Gentle speech multiplies (makes) friends (6,5).” What do you think Ben Sira meant? (Ben Sira, lived in the 2nd century B.C.E. He was a Hebrew sage and scribe who wrote a book of proverbs called the Wisdom of Ben Sira.)
      

---

Barbara Binder Kadden, UAHC Regional Educator in the Pacific Central West Council, wrote this week’s Family Shabbat Table Talk. She is hoping that the words she writes about Torah play a role in keeping people connected to Judaism and Jewish study.

Table Talk for Shabbat Vayechi, December 17-18th, 2010

This is taken from the URJ's Family Shabbat Table Talk from 1998--enjoy!

Va-y'chi, 5759

Parashat Va-y'chi

The Torah: A Modern Commentary
W. Gunther Plaut, ed.
CYCLE ONE

SUMMARY
The name of this week's portion is Va-y'chi. In English it means "and he lived" and refers to Jacob having lived in Egypt for 17 years.
 
Old and ill, Jacob senses that he is about to die and makes Joseph swear to bury him in Canaan, the place of his birth. Before he dies, Jacob wants to bless his children, a common practice among the patriarchs. Jacob embraces two generations in this ritual by "adopting" Joseph's two sons, Menasheh and Ephraim, so they too can receive a blessing.
After finishing with his grandsons, Jacob calls his twelve sons to his bedside. He blesses each of his progeny by describing their character and predicting their futures. Jacob repeats what he has told Joseph and instructs his sons to bury him in the Cave of Machpelah in Canaan, the gravesite of his parents and grandparents. After his death, Jacob's body is prepared for burial. A formal funeral procession accompanies the body from Egypt to Canaan, where Jacob is laid to rest.
 
Joseph and his brothers return to Egypt. The brothers are concerned that now that their father is dead, Joseph will finally seek revenge for what his brothers did to him years before when they threw him in a pit to die. The brothers send Joseph a message informing him that their father's final instructions were for Joseph to forgive his brothers. Joseph assures his siblings that they have nothing to fear. Although they may have intended to harm him years before, it was by God's will that their actions for good.
 
This portion and the book of Genesis end with Joseph's death at the age of 110. Joseph is blessed to live to see his own great-grandchildren.
 
COMMENTARY
The special blessings that parents give their children on Shabbat are based on this Torah portion. The text tells us that Jacob placed his hands upon the heads of Ephraim and Menasheh and said "By you shall Israel invoke blessings, saying 'God make you like Ephraim and Menasheh'" (Genesis 48:20). This tradition is maintained today in Jewish homes when, after kindling Shabbat candles, one or both parents place their hands on the child's head and say:

For a boy: "May God inspire you to live in the tradition of Ephraim and Menasheh, who carried forward the life of our people."
For a girl: "May God inspire you to live in the tradition of Sarah, Rebecca, Leah , and Rachel, who carried forward the life of our people."

It is evident that Joseph's brothers made up Jacob's final instructions about forgiving them for having left Joseph in a pit. Rabbi Simeon ben Gamliel taught; "Great is peace, for even our ancestors resorted to fabrication in order to make peace between Joseph and themselves" (Genesis Rabbah 10:8). Rabbi Ila said: "A person may tell a white lie for the sake of peace" (Talmud Yebamot).
 
TABLE TALK

1. Bless the children at the Shabbat table using the blessings suggested in the commentary section. Talk about how the ritual felt and answer the following questions.
   • For parents: By blessing your children, how are you linking yourselves and them to Jewish tradition?
   • For children: Why do you think it is a blessing to be like Ephraim, Menasheh, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah?
2. Read the commentary section. What reasons do the rabbis give for supporting the brothers' fictional account of their father's last words? Do you agree or disagree with their arguments?
3. Have you ever lied for the sake of peace? What was the lie and why did you say it? Did the lie work? Why or why not?
4. Although he had lived comfortably in Egypt for many years, Jacob was adamant about his desire to be buried in Canaan. Why might this request have been so important to him? In what ways was his decision to be buried at the Cave of Machpelah a blessing for his family? In what ways might Jacob's decision have affected his family's future?
5. Both Jacob and Joseph die in this parasha yet the portion is given the title "and he lived." As Jews, we honor and remember Jacob and Joseph, and all those who have died, by chronicling and recalling their deeds and accomplishments. In this way, those who have died continue to live. Share special memories of friends and family members who have died. Recall the special blessings they transmitted to you and describe how their lives influence yours.

DID YOU KNOW...that at the completion of the public reading of each book of Torah, the congregation rises and says aloud "Chazak, chazak, v'nit-chazek!" meaning "Be strong, be strong, and let us be strengthened (to continue the reading of the Torah)."

Table Talk for Shabbat Vayigash, December 10-11, 2011

A wonderful discussion of the Torah portion, taken from the URJ's "Family Shabbat Table Talk" from 1998.
Shabbat Shalom, everyone!



Parashat Vayigash, Genesis 44:18-47:27
The Torah: A Modern Commentary
W. Gunther Plaut, ed. pp. 281-297

CYCLE ONE

SUMMARY
This week's Torah portion, Vayigash, tells of Joseph's reconciliation with himself, his brothers, and his father. It raises timeless questions about the human potential to change.

"Vayigash aylav Yehudah...." (Genesis 44:18) And Judah drew near to Joseph to plead for his brother Benjamin's freedom. Judah volunteered to be taken as a slave in Benjamin's stead, so that his father Jacob would not 'lose' another son. [What a change from the brothers that threw Joseph into a pit and left him to die!] Hearing Judah's passionate concern for his father's feelings, Joseph revealed his identity to his brothers. He told them not to feel guilty for having left him in the pit. It was God's plan that Joseph should end up in Egypt, where he could predict the famine, become Pharaoh's administrator, and save his own family from starvation. Joseph told his brothers to return to Jacob and bring the entire clan to Egypt where he will ensure their well-being for the remaining years of the famine.
 
Jacob was predictably overjoyed to hear that Joseph is alive and, after being assured by God of divine protection, goes to be reunited with his long lost son. The famine continues. When the Egyptians ran out of money with which to purchase bread, Joseph agrees to trade food for livestock. When the livestock was depleted, Joseph traded bread for land. In this way all the money, flocks, and land in Egypt came to be owned by Pharaoh. Joseph provided the Egyptian people with seeds to plant and decreed that one fifth of all that grows would belong to Pharaoh, while four-fifths remained the property of the one who cultivated the land.
 
COMMENTARY
When Judah approached Joseph, his willingness to be held in lieu of Benjamin demonstrated his capacity to change. In Hebrew, this is called 'teshuva'. We know we have changed when we face a situation we have faced before, when we made a mistake, and we make a different, better choice. Judah had actively participated in the abandonment of his brother Joseph. He did not offer to be thrown into the pit himself. This time though a different Judah faced the same situation. This changed Judah was prepared to sacrifice himself for his brother Benjamin and his father Jacob. is willing to give up his own freedom for the sake of his youngest brother and his father. Judah had done 'teshuva'. He had changed his behavior and he had grown in character.
 
TABLE TALK

1. When the Torah first introduces Joseph, he is wearing a rainbow-colored coat and flaunting his personal dreams. In this portion, he is managing the welfare of an entire hungry nation and saving his family from starvation, both physical and spiritual. What has happened to cause Joseph to change? Think about a significant way in which you have changed. What external factors contributed to your change? What internal things inspired you?
2. According to the Torah, it was only after Joseph hugged his brothers and cried, that his brother's were able to say even a word. How did Joseph's actions free them to speak? Why might the brothers have been silent after Joseph told them who he was?
3. Jewish law and lore regards a person who had effected teshuva, who has demonstrated the courage to change behavior, as greater than someone who has not had to make that change. What do you think? Why?
4. Jacob is overwhelmed to hear that Joseph is alive yet he does not go to Egypt without talking with God. After God assures Jacob that God will travel with him and his family, Jacob agrees to the move. Why is the presence of God so important to Jacob? How have you experienced the presence of God?
5. Approaching someone when you have an important request (as Judah did) or a significant piece of information to share (as Joseph had) can be frightening. Think about a time when you have been in a situation like Joseph or Judah. What did you do? What would you do if you had the chance to do it over again?

DID YOU KNOW...that Rabbi Asher ben Yechiel taught: "Each night before going to sleep, forgive whomever wronged you."

Table Talk for Shabbat Chanukah

Happy Chanukah Everyone!  Follow this link to get to some great table talk for the special Shabbat during Chanukah!

http://urj.org//holidays/shabbat/intro/genesis//?syspage=article&item_id=4376

You may also be wondering well.... which should I light first--my Chanukah candles or my Shabbat candles?
Well the answer is, light your Chanukah candles first, then your Shabbat candles.  You probably remember learning that after we light our Shabbat candles, it's traditional not to light any other candles after that.  So we light our Chanukah candles first because traditionally, after lighting our Shabbat candles we can't light any more! 

If you'd like, though, to make your Shabbat candles feel extra special this time, you can use the Shamash (helper candle) to light your Shabbat candles once you've already light your menorah (technically a chanukiah, a special menorah for Chanukah).

One more note on the choreography of Chanukah:  One fanstastic youth grouper who shall remain nameless (but whose initials are Drew Davis) inquired as to which side the candles go on the first night of chanukah--right, or left?  Now, he may have thought that this would be a simple question with a simple answer.  Ha!  If you want a simple answer, you probably shouldn't ask a rabbi.  Or maybe you probably just shouldn't ask THIS rabbi.

The answer is, it depends.  Look at your menorah from the front.  If the Shamash (helper candle) is in the middle, place your first candle in all the way to the right.  Then each night you add a candle going from right to left (just like you're reading Hebrew).  So starting from the right, keep adding candles from oldest to newest.  BUT you light the candles from newest, to oldest.  so you light that candle sitting in the newest place first, all the way back down to the candle sitting in that "day 1" slot.

BUT --looking at your menorah from the front, if you can discern a front, if your Shamash is on one end or the other, you add the candle for the first night in the slot closest to the Shamash, and add from there each night.  We don't want the Shamash to get lonely!  So if your Shamash sits on the right, add the candles for each night from right to left.  If your Shamash sits on the left, add the candles from left to right.  But still, we always light the "newest" candle first, working down to the "oldest."
Need a refresher on your Chanukah candle blessings?  You can find them in Hebrew, transliteration and English here, and even audio recordings!

http://urj.org//holidays/chanukah//?syspage=article&item_id=3374

Finally, check out the URJ's wonderful, full, fantastic Chanukah page, including great social action ideas, charity present ideas, family activities, helpful videos, and much more! 
http://urj.org/holidays/chanukah/

May Chanukah bring warmth and light into your home on this Shabbat and beyond.

-Rabbi Segal